Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
