If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
