OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
