I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
