Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
