Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
