Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
