Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
