Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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