Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
