just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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