Fuck appropriateness.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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