Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
