Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
