I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
