It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
