the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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