Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
