yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
