When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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