i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
