I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
