I think I am morally bankrupt
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
did i just pee glitter
You ate ashes out of my bong
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize