I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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