i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Randomize
