just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize