babies were throwing up all over the place
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
