is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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