in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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