Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
