he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
