A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
