the new term for farting is butt boxing.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
