I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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