i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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