You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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