Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
