this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
