Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
