Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
