I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
