i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
