I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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