i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
