Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Dick very happy bro
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
