I think im going to throw up on grandma
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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