Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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