She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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