And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
