The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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