Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
