talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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