I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
