He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I have aggressive nipples.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
