This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
"it" just moved
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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