Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
