i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm like, not good at living.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
